


Grief is Gluttonous

by city_on_the_moon



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is a TommyInnit Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Character Death, Grief, Hurt Maybe Comfort, I mean he doesnt speak, Implied characters get their head out of their ass, Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mourning, SPOILERS FOR MARCH 1, Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Somewhat, They're trying so hard to make things work, Toby Smith | Tubbo is Not Okay, he's here in spirit get it- HA, my only editor is grammarly, no beta we die like l'manburg, platonic husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/city_on_the_moon/pseuds/city_on_the_moon
Summary: spoilers for march 1 streamTommyInnit deserves to be mourned more than anyone else.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smtih | Tubbo, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	Grief is Gluttonous

Grief is Gluttonous. 

It obeys no laws except its own, it makes its home in the mind, in the heart, in the gut. A tangled mess of rot that starts from within and crawls its way out of the body, eating everything in its path to remain, to root itself in the body, to dig its claws into wounds and tear them bloody and open so that it stays. Because that's what grief is, perpetually hungry. 

Tubbo thinks he knows what grief is, he's experienced more grief in 16 years than anyone. He should know what to expect by now. Tubbo wonders where it is now, where is grief when he's standing with Ranboo when Tommy's death message flashes on his communicator for the third time- the last time. He’s cold. 

There is no ache in his chest, there is no pain, only soul-deep exhaustion that settles into his bones and makes a home in them. He turns to Ranboo and asks if the hybrid has a Mario Kart Wheel. 

Ranboo looks at Tubbo, tired with deep purple eyebags sitting under his eyes.

"Yeah," The enderman rasps, guiding Tubbo by the shoulder and leading him away. 

"Just go ahead, I've got some personal things to do first," Ranboo says. 

"I'll meet you at Snowchester," Tubbo replies, ambling away. Ranboo knows the information hasn't fully sunk in yet, he kind of hopes it never does. 

It's selfish, but it's not unkind. "Would it be better like this?" Ranboo muses, he shakes his head. "Nah, apathy doesn't suit Tubbo." He says, mostly to himself, as he begins to walk around the SMP picking flowers. 

Distantly, he remembers how Tubbo was when he found the tower at Logsted. He remembers the sobbing, the shaking, the panic attack that came with it. It was bad, but at least then Tubbo reacted. It was better than- than this. Ranboo would rather deal with a wrecked Tubbo than an uncaring one. 

The enderman hybrid sighs, looking at the bunches of flowers in his hands, they were all in Tommy's favorite colors. He hoped Tommy would appreciate them, wherever he was. His walk towards the dirt shack was lonely, there were hardly any people in the SMP roaming around. It was kind of melancholic, walking towards the dirt mound. Ranboo stands before it, trying to blink away the moisture in his eyes at the sight of the house. 

Silently, he begins to place the flowers down one by one. Poppies, Tulips, Daisies, and Lily of the valleys, all along the outside of the shack, because even if Tubbo was his husband, Tommy was his first friend. 

But most of all because TommyInnit deserves to be mourned.

"More than anyone else who died in this forsaken server," Ranboo huffs, placing the last white tulip before standing back up and brushing the dirt off his suit pants. 

He sighs, stretching his back "I'm sorry Tommy, you don't deserve the cards you were dealt. I'll miss you," 

-

Ranboo tries not to cringe as he brushes against a snow pile at his feet, it doesn't hurt like water but it stings. He tries to visit Snowchester as much as possible without hurting himself. He should have worn his boots, he should have worn his armor. It looked like a blizzard was coming.

The enderman hybrid begins a brisk walk to Tubbo's house. Snowflakes start to fall as he does, his walk turns into a light jog as the flurry begins to fall harder. Ranboo makes it to the house without much strain, he opens the door to see Tubbo in front of his fireplace, unmoving, staring into the dancing flames and his heart seizes. 

"Tubbo!" He calls, rushing over to place a hand on the boy's shoulder. Ranboo pulls the boy away from the fireplace holding Tubbo to his chest. 

"Prime! What do you think you're doing Tubb-" 

There's a sob. It's not from Ranboo. Tubbo finally lets himself cry, full of the weight of everything that happened crashing down on the poor hybrid like a tidal wave. It’s full of agony and loss.

"Oh Tubbo," Ranboo sighs. The enderman hybrid sits them both on the floor, he's still holding Tubbo and his slowly soaking suit is starting to get itchy from the tears. 

"Ranboo-" Tubbo croaks, "He's gone," He sobs, burying his face into the taller boy's chest. Ranboo feels his heartbreak.

He may be Tubbo's husband but Tommy was Tubbo's best friend, or something more, something more than a brother and more like the other half. 

"Ranboo, what am I gonna do? He's gone now!" Tubbo hiccups, pulling away to rub the tears out of his eyes. "I didn't even- even- get to say goodbye!" He wails. Tubbo is shaking with sobs and Ranboo is sure he's about to go mad with grief if he isn't helped. 

"It was me and him against the world! When did that change? Why did it change…" Tubbo sniffles. 

There is sadness and then there is desolation- Tubbo has transcended that threshold and feels pure anguish. A choked cry escapes his throat and he begins to sob once more. 

Ranboo rests his head on Tubbo's and the smaller boy wraps his trembling hands around the enderman hybrid. Ranboo begins to croon softly into the smaller boy's hair. He begins to rub comforting circles into Tubbo's back, quietly shushing the cries. The taller holds Tubbo until the goat hybrid exhausts himself and slips into sleep. 

"What are we going to do now?" He whispers, pushing back Tubbo's hair.

-

TommyInnit dies on the 1st. They bury him on the 2nd in a casket made of dark oak and cobblestone. It's a military funeral, with Tubbo, Jack Manifold, Fundy, Niki, Puffy, and Sam carrying the casket towards the grave. The L'manburg flag is draped over it. 

There's a sense of finality in the air no one wants to acknowledge. The moment they lay the casket to rest is the moment it will all be real. Tommy is gone and he's not coming back. 

Only a few people attended, aside from those who carried his casket, it's Quackity, Karl, Sapnap, Ranboo, Purpled, Eret and surprisingly enough, Technoblade and Phil. 

Tubbo doesn't look at them and avoids all manner of conversation that isn't with Ranboo. The goat hybrid has bags under his eyes that look like bruises and is as pale as the snow of the land he leads. He looks like he would keel over and faint at any point during the funeral but he doesn't.

He stays strong enough to go up to the little podium they made with Ranboo hovering beside him. Tubbo clears his throat. 

"TommyInnit was-" His voice shook," no, is everything to me. He's my best friend, my brother, my other half. -And he had his faults, we all knew how many faults Tommy had but I think, we focused on them too much- and we forgot to see Tommy's strengths too. Tommy was brave, kind, and very selfless when he wanted to be. May you sleep peacefully, Tommy. " Tubbo says. 

Tubbo walks off the stage feeling empty, Ranboo by his side as he watches Sam lower the casket into the earth. “Tubbo?” Sam calls, “Is there anything else you want to do or-”

It’s a silly question, Tubbo looks blankly at the creeper hybrid and nods his head. He walks forward slowly and fishes out the compass from his inventory, the one with Your Tommy, engraved on it’s needle. He drops it in the hole and walks backwards. 

Sam nods and begins to shovel in the first piles of dirt with his netherite shovel. It’s silent and slowly people begin to leave. 

Karl, Quackity, and Sapnap offer him condolences. Sapnap gives him the fiercest hug and a sympathetic smile as he leaves with his fiances. 

Purpled briefly appears beside him and pats his shoulder before leaving.

Techno and Phil don't bother, they leave quietly. 

Jack and Niki leave together, they stumble out of the cemetery shoulder to shoulder. The pair quietly talking between themselves. Niki doesn’t even look at him once during the funeral.

Eret gives him a sympathetic smile, the monarch tells Tubbo he’s welcome to the castle for tea anytime. They both know he’s not visiting.

Sam leaves after them, saying he needed to go back to the prison. It's a load of bullshit. 

Puffy stays with them the longest, the sheep sitting quietly with them as the guests shuffle out. She whispers with Ranboo about Tubbo like the goat wasn't there. They talk about therapy and healing but what is there to heal when there is no wound? Only scars. 

"He gave up everything he could for L'manburg, even if L'manburg didn't want it nor need it. He- He- I love him and I failed him but I won't anymore." Tubbo begins,  
"I want Tommy to be mourned, to be remembered as he was, a tall gremlin child, my best friend, and the best soldier L’manburg never deserved. Tommy's a hero." 

Ranboo nods solemnly beside him, "Tommy's a hero." He echoes, Puffy nods from behind. 

Together they mourn. Tubbo cries silently, tired from everything. Puffy chokes back her sobs, she failed Tommy but she vows not to fail Tubbo and Ranboo. Ranboo cries, and it’s the most painful thing he’s ever done, his tears burn and they leave raw and tender marks on his cheeks.

Tubbo hiccups, “You guys gonna help me make a bench?” He asks. Puffy laughs, watery and rough. She ruffles his hair, “Of course, Tubbo.” 

Ranboo snorts, wiping away his tears with his sleeves, “Sure, Tubbo. Let’s go, I think I have wood in my inventory.” 

It's a start and Tubbo feels warm for the first time in two days.

**Author's Note:**

> im not okay <3 aha 
> 
> if you see any grammar and spelling mistakes please forgive me  
> -  
> If you're wondering why Jack and Niki are carrying his coffin, I thought it would be fitting if the L'manburg ensemble were the one to carry his casket. Its only fitting yanno? Also let's just pretend Nikki and Jack got their head out of their asses for this, don't think too hard about it please
> 
> Where is the eggpire? Hell if I know, they're blasting caramelldansen and crab raving now that Tommy is dead. That's why they're not at the funeral, maybe except for Sam but who knows.  
> _
> 
> Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this, it's my first fic ever! :) I never thought I'd be writing about hehe blocky but here we are I guess. This took 3 days to write I'm so tired o(-(


End file.
